Chapter 13

I’m a month pregnant. I’m going crazy right now, being in Pittsburgh is not helping at all. I still haven’t cried over him. I’m proud of myself honestly, I should have told told myself long ago that he was not worth the tears. Maybe leaving Pittsburgh would help things…help me clear my head.

“Hey mom” I said into the phone.
“Hi sweetie, how are you?”
“Well I was hoping there was some room for me…at home…” I replied.
“You’re planning on coming home?” she asked excitedly.
“Yah. With the whole Max thing going on, it hurts to be around Pittsburgh” I said biting my lip, keeping the tears back, “so I was hoping Montreal would help”
“Well your room is still here sweetie” she answered, “we’ll be here when you get here”
“Thank you mom” I said, “oh, and I have some news. It’s better for face to face, but, it’s your opinion whether it’s good or bad news”
“What?”
“I’ll tell you when I get home” I said hanging up the phone.

I had already bought the ticket and was leaving tonight. I just wanted to let my mom know I was coming. Looking back at the apartment I had shared so many memories with Max in, I quickly shut the door, before a break down started. It’s been a while since I cried, I was not going to start now.

Ever since Max last called me, when I told him I was no longer part of his life, was the last time I had spoken to him. He never called, or texted, I haven’t even run into him surprisingly. I was trying to move on, get my life in order again, start over. I knew I could not do that in Pittsburgh.

--------------------------------------------

“Mom! Dad!” I exclaimed as they both gave me a huge bear hug, “where’s Ally?” I asked pulling back.
“She’s still not doing well since she got back from Pittsburgh. She’s not the same Ally anymore” my mom sighed.
“Have you tried talking to her?” I asked.
“Yes, but honestly I think you’re the only one who can cheer her up” she replied.
“Ok” I nodded.

Grabbing my bag, I went up the stairs, turned the corner and stopped at Ally’s room. I knocked on the door and didn’t get an answer.

“Ally bear?” I said, and immediately she opened the door.
“Julie” she said quietly giving me a hug.
“Sweetie, you ok?” I asked with concern.
“Kris keeps trying to call me” she said, “he even called the house…did you give him the number?”
I just nodded, “but it was for your own good”
“How?” she snapped crossing her arms across her chest.
“You should have seen him after you left Al. He was going nuts. He left his fiancee”
“What?” she replied slowly moving her arms down to her side, wide eyed.
“He said even in the short time you have known each other, he feels connected to you, he has serious feelings for you, I can see it”
“Really?”
I just nodded.
“Should I call him then?” she seemed a little flustered as she looked around the room for her phone.
“It looks like your already going to without my opinion”
She just stopped, looked up at me and smiled, “thank you Jules”
“You’re my sister” I shrugged, “I know you would do the same for me”

I picked up my bag and moved into the old familiar room I left at the tender age of 18 for the journalism program in Pittsburgh. Nothing changed. My Simple Plan, Fall Out Boy, and even my Billy Talent posters were all still up. I set my bag down and looked at the pictures that were still sitting on my desk. Ally and I mostly, along with some of my best friends, like Jordan, when we lived in Thunder Bay for a while. Some amazing memories sitting on that desk that I would never forget, and still some sitting in my mind, that I didn’t need pictures to remember…

------------------------------------------------

“Mom, dad, I need to talk to you” I said moving into the living room, “Ally, you’ll probably want to hear this too”
“What’s going on dear?” my dad said looking up from his book.
“Well…” I said fiddling with the ring on my finger, “you all know what happened with Max” I saw my dad’s jaw clench and my mom shifted uncomfortably.
“Yes…”
“I’m pregnant”
My dad just blinked a couple times, his face was completely blank, my mother had a look of shock on her face and my sister had a look of confusion. So many emotions…
“Excuse me?” my dad finally spat out.
“You heard me”
“How long?”
“A month…”
“Julie!” my mom exclaimed, “how could you keep something like that from us?”
“Because I knew how dad would react” I said pointing towards him. He was pacing and running his fingers through his hair with one hand and had his glasses in the other. He wanted to say something but the words wouldn’t come out.
“Mom, it’s practically the reason I came home, because of Max leaving…I didn’t have anyone to help me through this…I need your support” I pleaded.
She just looked at me with loving eyes and my dad stopped in his tracks and sighed, “well I guess there isn’t much we can do about it” he sighed.
“Of course we’re here sweetie” my mother said, “but it doesn’t mean I like what you did”
“Yes I know” I sighed, “but thank you”

I turned to my sister and she didn’t look pleased.

“What?”
She stood up and just glared at me, “you are such a hypocrite”
“Excuse me?”
“You tell me you don’t want me going out, and meeting the team, you don‘t want what happened to you happening to me…when you got knocked up by one of the players!” she exclaimed.
“Ally!” my mom stood up.
“No, I’m sick of this. The moment I do one little thing wrong, I get criticized for it, and then she gets knocked up by a player…who’s married might I add and then you guys welcome her and pretend like nothing happened!”
“Ally, the only reason I tried to keep you from them was so you wouldn’t end up in the same situation I did! Which almost happened, your fucking lucky he left his fiancee or you’d be in the same shit I’m in!”
“Watch your mouth in this house Julie”
She just stared at me, “again…making everything about you…”
“Ally, stop acting like a 15 yr old” I snapped.
“Stop acting like the world revolves around you!”
I just took a deep breath and calmed myself, “I never once thought about myself when this whole thing happened with Max, it was all Max, I worried about him when he worried about me. And when I let you into my home, and took you to a game, let you meet some of the guys, you still go and take advandtage, running off with someone you barely know! Oh and that whole time, even though my heart was shattering, I still do everything in my power to find you….I may have my moments, but the world does not revolve around me” I rubbed my forehead and looked at her as she took it all in. I just shook my head and went upstairs. I didn’t need this stress, I didn’t want to hurt this baby.