Chapter 14

I sat on the bed I hadn’t slept in in five years. I just stared at the white closed door in front of me, letting my thoughts flow. I didn’t know what to think anymore. First Max leaves, now my sister hates me. What else could possible go wrong?

*Max’s POV*

Liz and I, things still were not working. I was ready to give up. We were going to counselling, doing everything they told us to do, we still fought, bickered, nothing was working. My family told me to keep trying, I was done trying, I just wanted Julie back.

Liz was gone and I had the place to myself. I dialled Julie’s number and it went straight to voice mail. She must have her phone off. I called her apartment, no answer. I texted her, and waited to see if I would get a response. Nothing. I tried calling again, voice mail. I was starting to get a bit worried honestly.

I grabbed my coat and threw on a pair of shoes while I grabbed the keys off the endtable. I shut the door behind me and practically ran to my car. I sped through the streets of Pittsburgh, hoping she was home.

I let myself in and went up the flight of stairs to her apartment. First door on the left. I knocked a few times but there was no answer. I sighed and made my way back to my car before a door opened near me and I turned around, to see an older lady.

“Are you looking for Julie Miller?” she asked.
“I am”
“Well son, she left yesterday. Packed up her things quite quickly, without warning, and was gone”
“Really?” I asked, “she’s…gone?”
“She’s gone” she shrugged.
“Did she mention where she was going?” I asked anxiously.
“She never said a word. I’m sorry”
“It’s alright. Thank you” I weakly smiled.

I slowly walked back to my car. She’s gone? She’s really gone. I decided to try my last resort. Ally.

“Hello?”
“Ally, it’s Max”
“And?”
“Do you happen to know where Julie went? The landlady said she was gone”
“Yah she left. She left Pittsburgh all together, she couldn’t be around, with the possibility of running into you. Do you know what that would do to her?”
“Yah…”
“Why am I helping her?”
“What?”
“We just got in a huge fight. I’m pissed off at her, and I’m still trying to help her”
“You mean she’s there…with you?”
She hesitated, “no…”
“She is!” I replied, “where are you?
“I can’t tell you” she sighed.
“Ally…please?”
“Max…I need to go. I’m sorry about what happened between you guys, maybe next time you should think twice about leaving her…” and all I heard was the dial tone.

*Julie’s POV*

I heard talking in Ally’s room. As I moved closer, I heard her talking about me…then I heard his name, Max.

“Were you just talking to Max?” I asked barging through her bedroom door.
“Ever hear of knocking?” she snapped.
“Ally?” I pleaded.
“Yes” she sighed, “he was asking about you. I guess he just found out you’re gone. You never told him?”
“No, cause he would just tell me to stay” I huffed, “this is better for both of us. We can move on with our lives”
“I don’t think you’re going to move on Julie” she said.
“Why?”
“You just barged into my room asking about Max…like a lovestruck teenager”
I just sighed, “Yah”
“Julie…I’ve been thinking, and I’m sorry about earlier. It was a stupid fight…”
“I’m sorry too. I have been being a bit selfish lately”
“Yah so have I” she replied.
I just reached out for a hug and she stood up and wrapped her arms around me.
“Have you talked to Kris?”
“I did” she smiled, “we’re going to see each other when he is in Montreal next. In about a month…we’ll text and call until then” you couldn’t wipe that smile off her face if you tried.
“I’m happy for you” I smiled.
“Thank you” she said.

I gave her another quick hug and went to my bedroom. Seeing her so happy, made me happy, but it also disgusted me in a way. I used to be that happy, I just don’t understand where it could have all went wrong. You know what…I’m going to call him.

I grabbed my phone that I’ve had turned off for the past few days and turned it on. It seems he beat me to the punch. He left 20 messages, 25 text messages, and 35 missed calls. I immediately called him, sick to my stomach with worry.

“Julie” he said with a sigh of relief.
“Are you ok?” I asked, “I know you talked to my sister…”
“Why didn’t you say you were leaving?”
“Because I knew you would beg me to stay” I replied, “I couldn’t stay there…there was too many memories Max”
“Julie, I need to see you”
“Max, right now…I don’t think that’s a very good idea”
“Julie, she’s not making me happy like you, I need you…”
“I think you should have thought of that when you listened to your family…”
I hung up the phone and sat cross legged on my bed, staring at it. If he truly cared, he would call back. I stared at the phone…nothing. Maybe it was best that this was over between us, and he could fix his marriage.

*Max’s POV*

I got back to our place and opened the door. Something didn’t feel right. I looked in the bedroom and all Liz’s things…were gone. I saw a note on the table.

I’m tired of coming in second, you want her, have her… I’m done

I just stared at the note, she was leaving? Great…first I leave Julie, than Liz leaves me, maybe that’s Karma at work. I crumpled up the piece of paper in my hand and tossed it in the garbage. Everything felt…better now. I didn’t love Liz anymore, there was a point when she made me fall head over heels for her everyday. But when I saw Julie, and talked to her. Saw her smile, heard her laugh, looked into her beautiful blue eyes…

Maybe the love of my life is not the one I married, maybe I found her while I was married, maybe it was just bad timing. If that’s true…I couldn’t let her pass me by.

I know I can’t do anything right now. I couldn’t just up and leave, looking all over God’s creation for her. Plus, maybe time is what she needs. As soon as this season is over, when I head home in the summer…I will do everything in my power to see her again. Even if it kills me.

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this is the real thing
love changes everything
if you can just let go ...
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Chapter 13

I’m a month pregnant. I’m going crazy right now, being in Pittsburgh is not helping at all. I still haven’t cried over him. I’m proud of myself honestly, I should have told told myself long ago that he was not worth the tears. Maybe leaving Pittsburgh would help things…help me clear my head.

“Hey mom” I said into the phone.
“Hi sweetie, how are you?”
“Well I was hoping there was some room for me…at home…” I replied.
“You’re planning on coming home?” she asked excitedly.
“Yah. With the whole Max thing going on, it hurts to be around Pittsburgh” I said biting my lip, keeping the tears back, “so I was hoping Montreal would help”
“Well your room is still here sweetie” she answered, “we’ll be here when you get here”
“Thank you mom” I said, “oh, and I have some news. It’s better for face to face, but, it’s your opinion whether it’s good or bad news”
“What?”
“I’ll tell you when I get home” I said hanging up the phone.

I had already bought the ticket and was leaving tonight. I just wanted to let my mom know I was coming. Looking back at the apartment I had shared so many memories with Max in, I quickly shut the door, before a break down started. It’s been a while since I cried, I was not going to start now.

Ever since Max last called me, when I told him I was no longer part of his life, was the last time I had spoken to him. He never called, or texted, I haven’t even run into him surprisingly. I was trying to move on, get my life in order again, start over. I knew I could not do that in Pittsburgh.

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“Mom! Dad!” I exclaimed as they both gave me a huge bear hug, “where’s Ally?” I asked pulling back.
“She’s still not doing well since she got back from Pittsburgh. She’s not the same Ally anymore” my mom sighed.
“Have you tried talking to her?” I asked.
“Yes, but honestly I think you’re the only one who can cheer her up” she replied.
“Ok” I nodded.

Grabbing my bag, I went up the stairs, turned the corner and stopped at Ally’s room. I knocked on the door and didn’t get an answer.

“Ally bear?” I said, and immediately she opened the door.
“Julie” she said quietly giving me a hug.
“Sweetie, you ok?” I asked with concern.
“Kris keeps trying to call me” she said, “he even called the house…did you give him the number?”
I just nodded, “but it was for your own good”
“How?” she snapped crossing her arms across her chest.
“You should have seen him after you left Al. He was going nuts. He left his fiancee”
“What?” she replied slowly moving her arms down to her side, wide eyed.
“He said even in the short time you have known each other, he feels connected to you, he has serious feelings for you, I can see it”
“Really?”
I just nodded.
“Should I call him then?” she seemed a little flustered as she looked around the room for her phone.
“It looks like your already going to without my opinion”
She just stopped, looked up at me and smiled, “thank you Jules”
“You’re my sister” I shrugged, “I know you would do the same for me”

I picked up my bag and moved into the old familiar room I left at the tender age of 18 for the journalism program in Pittsburgh. Nothing changed. My Simple Plan, Fall Out Boy, and even my Billy Talent posters were all still up. I set my bag down and looked at the pictures that were still sitting on my desk. Ally and I mostly, along with some of my best friends, like Jordan, when we lived in Thunder Bay for a while. Some amazing memories sitting on that desk that I would never forget, and still some sitting in my mind, that I didn’t need pictures to remember…

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“Mom, dad, I need to talk to you” I said moving into the living room, “Ally, you’ll probably want to hear this too”
“What’s going on dear?” my dad said looking up from his book.
“Well…” I said fiddling with the ring on my finger, “you all know what happened with Max” I saw my dad’s jaw clench and my mom shifted uncomfortably.
“Yes…”
“I’m pregnant”
My dad just blinked a couple times, his face was completely blank, my mother had a look of shock on her face and my sister had a look of confusion. So many emotions…
“Excuse me?” my dad finally spat out.
“You heard me”
“How long?”
“A month…”
“Julie!” my mom exclaimed, “how could you keep something like that from us?”
“Because I knew how dad would react” I said pointing towards him. He was pacing and running his fingers through his hair with one hand and had his glasses in the other. He wanted to say something but the words wouldn’t come out.
“Mom, it’s practically the reason I came home, because of Max leaving…I didn’t have anyone to help me through this…I need your support” I pleaded.
She just looked at me with loving eyes and my dad stopped in his tracks and sighed, “well I guess there isn’t much we can do about it” he sighed.
“Of course we’re here sweetie” my mother said, “but it doesn’t mean I like what you did”
“Yes I know” I sighed, “but thank you”

I turned to my sister and she didn’t look pleased.

“What?”
She stood up and just glared at me, “you are such a hypocrite”
“Excuse me?”
“You tell me you don’t want me going out, and meeting the team, you don‘t want what happened to you happening to me…when you got knocked up by one of the players!” she exclaimed.
“Ally!” my mom stood up.
“No, I’m sick of this. The moment I do one little thing wrong, I get criticized for it, and then she gets knocked up by a player…who’s married might I add and then you guys welcome her and pretend like nothing happened!”
“Ally, the only reason I tried to keep you from them was so you wouldn’t end up in the same situation I did! Which almost happened, your fucking lucky he left his fiancee or you’d be in the same shit I’m in!”
“Watch your mouth in this house Julie”
She just stared at me, “again…making everything about you…”
“Ally, stop acting like a 15 yr old” I snapped.
“Stop acting like the world revolves around you!”
I just took a deep breath and calmed myself, “I never once thought about myself when this whole thing happened with Max, it was all Max, I worried about him when he worried about me. And when I let you into my home, and took you to a game, let you meet some of the guys, you still go and take advandtage, running off with someone you barely know! Oh and that whole time, even though my heart was shattering, I still do everything in my power to find you….I may have my moments, but the world does not revolve around me” I rubbed my forehead and looked at her as she took it all in. I just shook my head and went upstairs. I didn’t need this stress, I didn’t want to hurt this baby.

Chapter 12

I was sitting on my bed. Thinking. I could still hear him getting his stuff ready to leave. I just wanted him to go, before I changed my mind and begged him to stay. Suddenly I heard a light knock on the door, I froze. I knew it was him, so I didn’t answer.

“Julie?”
Nothing.
“Julie”
Nothing.
“Julie, just so you know, if there was any other way to do this, I would. I know you’ll be fine without me. You’ll find someone else, you’re too…incredible not too find someone else. Just remember that I love you, and I always will…”. It seemed he waited there to see if I would reply. I didn’t.
“Bye Jules…”
I just sighed as I heard the apartment door shut behind him. I jumped up and opened my door, he was gone. He was really gone...

*Max’s POV*

I got to the apartment I was kicked out of weeks before. I had already called her, she knew I was coming. She just didn’t know why.

“Why are you here?” she asked as I stepped in the door.
“I’m back” I simply said.
“Excuse me?”
“I want to work this out with you Liz” it really hurt to say it.
“What about…Julie?”
“I broke it off” I swallowed a lump in my throat and continued, “this is too important to throw away…”
“Seriously?”
“Yes” I simply replied.
She just jumped up and wrapped her arms around me, “I know we can get through this Max, I’m so glad you came to your senses”
I had something smart to say but I kept my mouth shut as she pulled back. I just fake smiled at her as she excitedly hugged me again.

*Julie’s POV*

I had sent Ally back home, like I had promised. I was now in an empty apartment, sitting on the couch, staring at the wall. I still hadn’t cried yet, but my chest felt like it was going to burst. I missed him like crazy, and it hurt, it hurt way too much. I didn’t know what I was supposed to do with myself now.

My thoughts were interrupted with a huge thump on the door. I hoped it was Max, but was disappointed when I looked in the peephole and saw Kris.

“What do you want?” I asked behind the closed door.
“I want to see Ally”
“Ally’s gone Kris. Go home” I replied moving away from the door.
“Julie, can I talk to you then?”
“I’m really not in the mood” I sighed.
“Please?” he pleaded.
I just took a deep breath and unlocked the door. He walked past me into the living room. He looked frustrated.

“What’s wrong with you?” he asked.
“I’d rather not talk about it with you” I snapped.
“Sorry”
“No, sorry. Max went back to Liz”
“Really?”
“Yes” I replied.
“But he was so happy with you”
“I’m done talking about this” I said holding back the tears, “what do you want?”
“I feel like an idiot and want to apologize to her” he said, “I really felt a connection with her Julie, as cheesy as it sounds”
“What about Anna?” I asked referring to his fiancee.
“I ended it. We weren’t right for each other, and I haven’t been able to stop thinking about Ally”

I looked at him closely. You could tell he was being sincere. As much as I hated the guy for what he did, he really meant what he was saying. I didn’t know what else I could do.

“Kris, she went home…to Montreal” I said, “have you tried calling her?”
“She won’t return my calls. I’ve left messages, texts…she won’t respond”
“She gets the stubborness from me” I sighed.
“Is she coming back anytime soon?”
“Kris…if your around she won’t come anywhere near Pittsburgh”
He just sighed and ran his fingers through his hair.
“We’re both in the same boat now aren’t we?”
I just nodded and sat back, “everything hurts Kris. I haven’t cried since he left”
“When was that?”
“Last night”
“I guarantee you it will come” he replied, “you have to let it out Julie. I know you’re strong, and I know he’s probably not worth it, but it’s not healthy keeping it in”
“Yah I know” I huffed.
“You know what?” he said standing up, “I’m going to leave you alone”
“Wait Kris” I said jumping up, grabbing a pen, “here’s the number to my parents house. It’s where she’s staying until she gets the money for her own place” I wrote it down on his hand, “just don’t say your name to my parents, or she won’t talk to you”
“Thank you Julie”
“I can tell you really care about her. Even if you’ve only known her for less than a day”

He just smiled and gently hugged me before shutting the door behind him. I turned on the tv, avoiding all sports at all costs, because I knew I would see his face somewhere. Or something that reminded me of him.

I got up and walked into the kitchen, with the intent of making some coffee. When I heard my ringtone go off, probably Ally. I jogged to my bedroom when I saw an unlikely name, Max, but I had already opened my phone.

“Julie?”
I froze.
“Julie I can hear you breathing”
I never knew hearing his voice would sound that good.
“What?” I snapped, “what else could you possibly want?”
“I’m sorry”
“Don’t keep apologizing unless you’re coming back. I’m done listening to you, you have a wife, I’m no longer a part of your life anymore”
“Don’t--”
“No Max. I’m done talking to you. Goodbye”

I tossed my phone on the bed. I told myself I wouldn’t cry over him, and I will not. I refuse to do it. He made the choice, if he thinks she is more important, than he is not worth the tears.


*You lied to me, you let me down,
you turned this smile into a frown
and now you're the only reason why,
I find it hard to sleep at night.
I'm feeling sad, I'm feeling blue,
I think of the past times spent with you
and now there's nothing left to say,
so I just turn my head away*